Is the Puppy Just Playing Me?

Hmmm....

I know that the Small Dog (who was a year old in June) is perfectly capable of surviving for several hours at at a time in her kennel crate when nobody is home.

So, when I am home and she comes to me with pleading eyes and pitiful little whines every half hour or hour, why do I always believe that she is in the most dire distress?

I do not know how to tell when she honestly needs to go out, and when she's just bored and wants to know if Outside is somehow more magically interesting at that moment in time.

Does she really need to go out so very often, when I'm home?

Or is she just playing me like a banjo?

Indispensible, That's What You Are.....

Every time I come home from a trip, I wonder whether I want this to truly be my theme song.

I'm never sure of the answer.

At the end of a busy trip, with a long, exhausting drive home, I feel even more tired when I see the things that weren't done while I was away.

Then I feel ungrateful, for not just appreciating all that was done during my absence.

Then I wonder- would I really like coming home and seeing that my absence made no difference whatsoever; that everything sailed along just as smoothly without me?

Does my disgruntled grumbling have a smug edge? A satisfied core? A sense of, "Well, obviously they do need me after all!"?

I think it does.

*sigh*

I came home from a trip last night. I made the drive in record time (not speeding- I just didn't stop much), but I'd made such a late start that I got home a little after eleven thirty at night.

I did notice, and appreciate, that the dishwasher was running.

I did notice, and appreciate, the baskets of clean laundry in the living room, that were washed while I was gone.

...

And I also found myself prowling around, looking for proof that they just can't do without me!

[giant eyeroll at myself!!!]

I took the rotting chicken from the fridge, and tossed it in the trash. [See! Without me, things just fall apart!]

I grumblingly watered houseplants. [Does nobody water these but me?! Every time I leave, the same plants are nearly dead by the time I come home!]

[giant eyeroll at self, followed by "face palm"]

I am certain I am not the only one who does this.

I do, in fact, suspect that this is a fairly common human condition,
but that does not make me any less disgusted with myself.

I think most of us probably wrestle at times with this quandary; this flip-flopping between appreciating proof that the world does not fall completely apart the moment we step out the door, and dismay at all that is neglected in our absence.

I'm sure it's not just me.

But still.....

[face palm, shaking head at my own relentlessly consistent inconsistency!]

The Biggest Loser

I've started watching The Biggest Loser, Season 1, on Netflix with our younger daughter.

Does this show not just make you want to get out and exercise??!!!

And eat right?

Needless to say, after watching last night, I went back to starting my day with fresh fruit this morning! I really do enjoy beginning my day with flavorful, seasonal fresh fruit. Today it was chunks of juicy watermelon. It's just such a good way to start the day. :)

When God Spoke To Me...In The Safeway Parking Lot

The few times God has spoken directly to me, it wasn't with a voice of thunder reverberating around me with solemn majesty.

And He never speaks to me like something out of archaic poetry, or the King James Bible. There is no, "Fear not, Beloved Daughter, to approach with joy. Be not afraid to cast thyself upon my mercy."

No. When God speaks to me, which has happened just a few times in my life, it is in a firm voice that speaks within my mind, but the words do not come from my thoughts. It is a surreal experience, but so definite that I do not hesitate to state that it was God speaking to me.

I have just re-read the Attolia series (a set of four books by Megan Whalen Turner, in the kid's or possibly young adult section at the library). We love this series! Anyway, in these books there are a few times when the gods of the main character speak to him. At one point, he complains to a friend that the poets lied; that the gods never speak to him in bold and majestic poetry. No, they say things to him like, "Stop whining!" I laughed when I read that, because I could totally relate.

So, to the Safeway parking lot.

Well, actually, before we get to the parking lot, there needs to be some background.

There was a time, a couple of years ago, when for two or three weeks in a row, I had the absolute best days...on Monday! It was great! Everyone around me was slogging through their miserable Monday-ness, and I was breezing along, having the most blissful time.

On Monday evenings, from September through May, I work in the Awana program at our church, helping kids learn about the Bible. My friend's son was in my handbook group at the time of this story, and he has some challenges in his life. During the time I was having these blissful Mondays, this friend called me on Monday afternoon, a couple of weeks in a row, to say, "He's had a pretty rough day at school. Where are you at with your day? Can you handle it if he's struggling this evening?"  And in the peace and ease of my days, I said, "I'm having a great day! I can totally handle it!"

Then there was the dark side of my Marvelous Mondays. I glided through the whole day, smiling and serene, basking in the peace of my own personal day. And then my family came home. And they spoiled my perfect day, with their crankiness, and their outrage over the day, and their very neediness sucking the marrow from my bones. I did not appreciate the way they ruined those perfectly lovely days. I'm pretty sure I even complained to them, "I was having this great day, and then you ruined it!" Needless to say, not some of my finest parenting moments!

Those few weeks of the Mondays of Peace and Sweetness passed by, and soon after, I stopped to visit with a lady I know, in the Safeway parking lot. Yes, we have at last arrived at the fabeled Lot of Parking that began this whole saga. I told her all about my Wonderful Mondays, and how much I enjoyed them, and how they enabled me to pour peace and love on the ruffled feathers of my friend's son...and also how my family just wrecked the whole thing and spoiled it for me.

We said goodbye, and as I walked to my car, God spoke to me, quite clearly, inside the privacy of my own head, interrupting the thoughts that were muddling around in there.

And God said to me....

"STOP BEING SO SELFISH WITH YOUR GOOD DAYS!!!!!!!"

Oh.

Oooooohhhhhhhhhh.

Yet another time in which I felt I should be wearing a big label that said, "It's not about me!" I should probably tattoo that on the back of my hand where I can see it often. It bears repeating.

Yes, those lovely, peaceful days were a gift to me, but they were not for only me. I was feeling resentful of how my family spoiled my shiny mood...instead of loving them from that place of peace and sweetness; blessing them at the end of a hard day!

Oh.

Those lovely days were FOR me, but they were not ABOUT me!

They were a gift to me, but a gift I was supposed to share!!!

What We've Been Eating Lately...

I have thought of my little blog often this summer, but my life and the inside of my head have not been conducive to reflective thought and writing. Today, I feel able for a brief post...before leaping back onto the whirling merry-go-round of the day.

I'm just feeling really good about the food choices I/we have been making these past several days, and wanted to write about it. After months upon months of heedless eating mixed with the heavy struggle back toward healthier ways, there is progress!

The other night, we had some steaks, so the Dear Eldest Daughter and I worked together to come up with a healthy meal. We concocted a Southwestern kind of dry rub (sea salt, cumin, oregano, parsley, chipotle chili powder, paprika, and a dash of cinnamon), which we massaged into the meat, then let it sit for a bit, before the Meat Maestro put it on the grill. As side dishes/steak toppers, we made guacamole, pico de gallo (freshly chopped salsa), and the black bean side dish we've been doing lately. It was all sooooo flavorful! And so healthy! And low on the glycemic index! Not one thing in there that compromised the health or well-being of any of us. That felt great!

**Black bean side dish: one can of black beans, drained. One jalapeno, minced. Juice of one small lime, and a dash of sea salt. I just put it all in a skillet and warm it up a little bit. We've been loving this as an alternative to refried beans.

** A friend recently taught me how to choose and prepare jalapenos so there is no heat, only flavor. Choose a jalapeno that is smooth and glossy, with no stretch-mark scars. Wearing gloves, clean it carefully, cutting out the whitish veins inside, and discarding the top and seeds.

The next night, we had hamburgers. I don't eat the bun anymore- avoiding wheat. So, I had a hamburger patty, with a hearty dollop of guacamole on top, with raw sugar snap peas, carrot sticks, and large chunks of cucumber on the side, with watermelon for dessert. Again, so tasty! So healthy! So perfect in regards to the glycemic index! So completely free of foods we can't tolerate! It feels so good to eat this way!

We went to see the movie Brave last night, which was wonderful- I especially loved the short film "LaLuna" before the movie. It was beautiful and precious. Anyway, at the theater, I considered the candy and popcorn, and then I walked away with just my bottle of water! I felt very proud of myself!

And today- I had half a fresh apple to start the day. I found some "Envy" apples at the store the other day, and I really like them. Later, I had a small carton of coconut milk yogurt. Just now, I had the other half of my apple, with a scoop of sunflower nut butter. What a great way to begin my day and my week!

I also weighed in this morning (a dose of reality/accountability that I've been doing for....maybe nine years?) and I am losing weight! At last! I'm not sure exactly how much total, but I think it's approaching ten pounds!

It feels wonderful to be walking a healthier path again!

Alternative Tamale Success!

In the past week, I have made tamales for the first time, and I was very happy with how they turned out. I used chicken breast, and made them flavorful but mild. I am a total spice-heat wimp. I also experimented with a vegetarian version, using Spectrum palm-oil shortening instead of lard, and a black bean-sweet potato filling. That also turned out well.

Now for the most recent challenge variant: How to make tamales for a daughter who cannot have any corn? The essential elements that define a tamale are the filling, on a base of masa (cornmeal) paste, wrapped in a corn husk. Filling. Corn. Corn.

I planned to use up the rest of the tamale ingredients for dinner tonight, and decided to improvise on a corn-free inspiration I'd had. Corn Free Daughter is back at college, and therefore unable to participate in the experiment, but I wanted to see how my idea would work.

Someone told me a while back, when I first set out on my tamale quest, that one can also use parchment paper to package tamales, instead of the traditional corn husks. Element one: solved.

I pondered the nature of the masa base.

Masa harina.

Well....it's really the same corn meal that my mom used to make hot cereal when we were wee girls.

So.......could another, corn-free, hot cereal work as well?

Why not?

I decided to try Cream of Wheat.

Cream of Wheat is also known as Wheat Farina.

Masa harina. Wheat farina.

Gotta love a food solution that not only works, but also rhymes!!! :D

I followed the same directions as for preparing the masa: Beat the shortening in the mixer with salt and baking powder; combine the dry wheat farina with warm liquid (I used chicken stock that I had on hand. Water works equally well, making a vegetarian version very easy); added the dampened wheat farina to the beaten shortening in several batches, beating all the while. It worked admirably!

I cut parchment pieces of approximately the same dimensions as the average tamale corn husk, spread on my wheat paste base, and topped it with my seasoned shredded chicken breast. You can use either kitchen string or strips of corn husk to tie the bundles shut. Since I had the pile of prepared husks, I used them. Also, my string is missing. :)

I put my corn-free tamales on to steam, and went about my other evening business.

They turned out well! The first couple/few bites seemed very different, but I quickly started to like the new version.

So, not only a successful experiment, but  tasty Friday evening dinner also! We had the chicken/corn tamales, and the chicken/wheat tamales, with a bean side dish that was also an experiment.

Beans- some Anasazi beans I had previously soaked and cooked from their dry state, then drained and stored in the fridge. Tonight, I added a carefully chosen, carefully cleaned serrano pepper, blended with cumin, oregano, sea salt and chicken stock. I added this seasoning concoction to the beans, along with kale cut small and more chicken stock. It turned out okay. I think it needed more flavor. There was enough of the pepper, but I could have used more cumin and oregano. Overall, though, it was good, and a good companion to the tamales.

I am rather pleased with the success of my experiment, and eager to share it with No-Corn Daughter!

p.s. fun note: one= tamal, more than one= tamales  :)

O, en Espanol, Un= tamal, pero moltos = tamales.   ;D   ....At least, I think that's right. :)

Sleepy Eyes, Sweet Potatoes, Stinky Hands and Sticker Feet

Wow! I hadn't realized it had been so long since I wrote a new post! Well, now I shall make amends. :)

I find myself extremely tired today. I have been putting in exceedingly long, full, busy days of late, and it really caught up to me this morning. After the busy beginning to my day, I took a solid nap! I rarely do that, but I seemed to be in desperate need of rest. I also rarely have a day that is not thick with commitments, so this was a rare coincidence of need and opportunity! I felt so much better when I got up again.

What was the busy start of my day, you ask? Well, maybe you didn't, but I will tell you anyway. :)

First thing this morning, at about 6:20 am, I drove clean laundry across town to our hardworking son. He's using a bicycle as transport just now, to save on gas money and because his pickup is having serious issues. It's pretty challenging to carry a full laundry basket on a bike, so he wasn't able to take it home yesterday. By the time I got home last night, I was pretty sure he was already asleep. When I called this morning and offered to bring his clean clothes over, he was so thankful. It's nice to do things for someone so thoroughly grateful and appreciative. :)

After I got back from my Errand of Laundry Mercy, I leashed up Mandy the Dog and we went for a mile-and-a-half walk. I do love how fresh and cool it is early in the morning. Today it was just a little too cool and a bit too fresh for comfort, but still a wonderful way to start the day. Singing meadowlarks are a great incentive to get me out the door for a walk!

After returning from our walk, I hand-watered outside. It is far too breezy today for the running of sprinklers, so hand-watering was the only way to go. I have some wee seedlings bravely pushing out of the ground, from seeds I planted a while back. I also have some new plants I've set out in the past week. Some were from a plant catalog I like- Annie's Annuals. It's such a fun catalog; whimsical and colorful. The plant selection they carry is unique- focusing on California wildflowers, and hard-to-find things like heirloom flower varieties. They like the original form of plants- the sort that still have actual fragrance. I love that! I'm excited to see the new plants from Annie's flourish and bloom.

The other plants are from Bloomer's nursery here in town. Yesterday afternoon, before our Dear Eldest Daughter headed back to college after a nice weekend at home, she and I made a pilgrimage to the nursery. We had so much fun, ambling through the greenhouses and seeing all the expansions and displays. Most of what I chose was for outside pots, but I did buy one small begonia for inside. I have wanted a begonia for so long, and I'm excited to finally have one. :)  After returning home with our treasure trove of plantly possibilities, we dug out pots and a bag of potting soil and got to work.

Unfortunately, the bags of planting medium I'd bought, on the advice of a guy at the store that sells it, was not what I should have bought! I had read that Potting Soil and Planting Mix are distinctly different, so I asked for Planting Mix. He told me this would work. If I'd actually read the bag, I would have known better. Sigh. Yet another live-and-learn. This mix was not for potted plants. It specifically says "for in-the-ground planting".  It is a mix of shredded wood product and steer manure and some other stuff. I've forgotten the other stuff, because the first two ingredients annoyed me enough to wipe the rest from my mind.

I think they must get their "steer manure" from a dairy! This is not the clean and healthy fragrance of a country field. This stuff has the acrid, penetrating odor of dairy slurry! And, us being us and in a hurry, we did not wear gloves! *regret!!!*  We scrubbed and scrubbed our hands, trying to get rid of the odor, but it took several hours for it to dissipate! Dear Daughter tried a strongly-scented hand lotion in her attempts, but that only made it worse. Then she had hands that smelled like fruity-flowery dairy slurry! Oh, how I wished I had stopped to think before we dug into our project!

The shredded wood annoyance didn't last nearly as long as the nasty steer odor, but it was plenty annoying all the same. Somehow, I got two tiiiiny little splinters of wood stuck in the tender arch of my foot! So tiny. So insignificant. And soooo annoying! They were far too small to find and remove, but every time I took a step (in that busy busy afternoon!) I got tiny little stabs in my poor soft foot. Sometimes it is the petty little things that bug me the most!

And last, but not least, I love when my food experiments succeed! I needed to make a vegetarian/gluten-free/dairy-free dish for a potluck last night, to meet the dietary needs of visiting band members (great concert!), so I made Sweet Potato Black Bean Tamales. Actually, they're not sweet potatoes, but what I call yams- the purple skinned deep-orange fleshed variety. Sweet Potato just sounds more appetizing in a recipe title than Yam. I mean, Yam Bean Tamales does not sound nearly as nice, now does it? ;)   I had some non-hydrogenated vegetable-based shortening (Spectrum brand) that worked beautifully in place of lard for the masa paste (the cornmeal tamale base). I used the Sweet Potato Black Bean taco filling idea that I tried recently, for the tamale filling. It all came together beautifully. I had the last few for my breakfast today, and they were delicious!

The nap and quiet day have helped. The steer manure smell finally went away. The tamales were wonderful, but now they're gone. The stickery bits of wood finally came out of my poor foot.

One concern remains. Just how bad of an idea was it to use a planting mix with a strong dairy slurry manure odor......for a houseplant?